Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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