So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
