Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize