But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
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HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
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He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
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