Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
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Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
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Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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