Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
