i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize