I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
