How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
