at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
