we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
