my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
