playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
