All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
