Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Randomize
