I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize