Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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