I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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