He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You can't motorboat a personality
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
