He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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