There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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