This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
