But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
