this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
