Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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