Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize