yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its not stalking. its research.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Randomize
