Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
