Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
