his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
