He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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