i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
