I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just forgot I was standing up.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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