totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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