Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.