The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
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So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
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I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday