if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.