I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
