O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
