I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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