Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Let's paint friendship bongs
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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