You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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