i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
