About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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