it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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