sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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