i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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