You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
