I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
