All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
