i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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