i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
