She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
