As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
