I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
