But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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