i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
