I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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