you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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