he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
