i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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