someone get that fucking seahorse.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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