haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I want her autograph on my taint
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Your penis caused this!
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
