Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
