This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
