i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dignity is for republicans.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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