im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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